TRUTHS FOR MATURE HUMANS

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Don Ferrette

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1. I think part of a best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

 

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

 

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

 

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

 

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

 

7. Map Quest really needs to start with # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my driveway.

 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

 

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

 

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

 

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

 

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes.

 

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer their call.

 

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

 

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

 

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

 

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

 

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said

 

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

 

21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

 

22. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

 
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Don, you forgot one.

When dealing with the ladies, guys are either always wrong or at best mis-informed. If a guy is right, he better not even think about showing a smile or he will be in the wrong anyway :eek:
 
1. I think part of a best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

 

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

 

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

 

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

 

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

 

7. Map Quest really needs to start with # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my driveway.

 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

 

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

 

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

 

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

 

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes.

 

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer their call.

 

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

 

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

 

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

 

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

 

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said

 

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

 

21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

 

22. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

 
:lol:Today was a # 11 day for me Don and I realized that @ 6:15 A.M. :lol:

Glenn
 
1. I think part of a best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

 

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

 

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

 

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

 

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

 

7. Map Quest really needs to start with # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my driveway.

 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

 

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

 

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

 

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

 

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes.

 

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer their call.

 

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

 

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

 

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

 

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

 

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said

 

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

 

21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

 

22. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

 
:lol:Today was a # 11 day for me Don and I realized that @ 6:15 A.M. :lol:

Glenn




# 20. A Truck Drivers key to unlocking highway boredom. Get a run, block just enough to let the line catch up, hang him out to dry. Like getting out of line in a NASCAR restrictor plate race.

Great stuff Don..

RP
 
I LIKE IT WHEN THEY try TO PASS ON THE RIGHT, I.M ALREADY 15 OVER AND NOT DOING ENOUGH, I RUN THEM TO THE BACK OF NEXT AVAILABLE OBJECT STAYING WITH THEM , LET THE LINE CATCH UP THEN SLOW DOWN

.MAKES MY DAY, FRIES THEIR SHORTS!! :p
 
1. ...and to get rid of your porn collection. (Heard that one on TV.) The price might be at least of of your boats but you won't need it any more anyway.

4. Yes, and more sarcastic smilies!

5. You don't. Either put it back on the bed or roll it into a wad.

6. Mess with people and print both where it says print and sign.

7. At least start at the highway as I know how to get that far!

8. I'd really like to know how they bought the farm. Everyone who dies was a wonderful person. I figure that if I'm a low-life I'll live forever!

Example: A dude recently played kissy-face at 65 MPH with an 18-wheeler on his Harley as he was about to be sent up the river and splattered himself all over the rig and the road. The newspaper write-up only mentioned that he was a great father of four and his wife was preggers for another tax deduction.

11. I don't wait until I'm at work, that usually happens when I crawl out of the bed every morning.

12. Probably a tiny little computer chip that you'll lose after the first time that you watch it.

17. If Google Maps or Mapquest had that I couldn't get out of my driveway!

20. Probably the guy in front didn't know what was going on but we had a lot of cars drafting down I-94 doing 85 or better and nobody would let a Yuppiemobile jump in! There wasn't room enough between any of the cars to squeeze another one in. All that separated us from a NASCAR race was bump drafting and about another 100 MPH. If ya wanted in, back of the line Bub.
 

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