barry
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2006
- Messages
- 108
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a
house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders
the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed
he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the
bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an
escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail
and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw the way he kissed your neck. If he
wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy
him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very
dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, Honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck he was whispering in
my ear, he told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had
any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong Honey. I
love you too!!"
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet,
and have dinner with her parents.. Since this is such
a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the
first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first
time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be
rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house
and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited
for you to meet my parents, come on in!' where the girl's
parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.
A minute passes and the boy is still deep in prayer
with his head down.
10 minutes pass and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns
and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders
the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed
he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the
bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an
escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail
and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw the way he kissed your neck. If he
wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy
him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very
dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, Honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck he was whispering in
my ear, he told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had
any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong Honey. I
love you too!!"
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet,
and have dinner with her parents.. Since this is such
a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the
first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first
time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be
rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house
and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited
for you to meet my parents, come on in!' where the girl's
parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.
A minute passes and the boy is still deep in prayer
with his head down.
10 minutes pass and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns
and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
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