O/T a little non-political humor

[waltr]

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon

their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new

high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain

to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. Both

said they were very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters, explaining

that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever

experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and

asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The

husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood

pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they

decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the

husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife

delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain, and the husband had

experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the UPS man dead on the porch

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Don Ferrette]

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you.

The girl said, " NO."

Johnny said, " I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, You bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend. She called her boyfriend and told him the story.

The boy friend said, "Ask him for $200, then pick up the money Very fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down."

She agreed and accepted the proposal. Half an hour went by and the boyfriend was waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend called and asked what happened......

She said, "The bastard used quarters!"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from the eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's true political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

****, it just doesn't get more accurate than that! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Andy Greene]

Damm I needed that laugh, thanks guys :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[waltr]

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you.

The girl said, " NO."

Johnny said, " I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, You bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend. She called her boyfriend and told him the story.

The boy friend said, "Ask him for $200, then pick up the money Very fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down."

She agreed and accepted the proposal. Half an hour went by and the boyfriend was waiting for his girlfriend to cal l. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend called and asked what happened......

She said, "The bastard used quarters!"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from the eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's true political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

****, it just doesn't get more accurate than that! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

That was great!

Good ones Don!